Valentine’s Day is almost upon us. Even if you don’t pay any attention to this couple-centic holiday, many pagan related festivals also focus on love (or sex). But what about the times in between?
Have any of you ever been at a point in your life when you’re ready to encourage new love into your life but you don’t quite know how to do that? Or you’re not really ready to dip your toes into the dating pool? It could also be that you just don’t have a ton of love in your life and you want more of it. You could be single and actually really love being single but that doesn’t mean you don’t get lonely occasionally. Or you might be asexual but that doesn’t mean that you don’t want love or cuddles sometimes. Love is not a singular thing but a many branched tree and many times there’s lots of branches that are forgotten or ignored.
Whatever your reason may be, there’s a lot of reasons why people may want love but aren’t willing to ready to dive into the big stuff like formal spells or dating apps. This is a list for people in those in between places that’s not here or there.
01 Take a luxurious bath with all the works
This is commonly seen as a self-care or self-love tactic (and you’ll be seeing a lot of those as well here) but it’s also super good when you want to attract something to you.
Specifically, this would be the reason you break out the fancy candles and the soaps that you never use. Make up some salt or sugar scrubs or buy some. Make sure that you’re alone, if possible, and you’re ready to dedicate some time to this.
You may also want to find some music or white noise soundscapes to add in. This is a personal choice. Maybe you want some sexy musics or your favorite tunes. Maybe you want to set the mood for yourself with music that reflects the kind of love you want to experience or you feel a spiritual connection to a song or type of sound and want that to play while you’re bathing. Reading a book or scrolling through your feed or watching a movie while you’re in the bath is always an option.
Before you set up the bath, however, take a shower. Wash off the old you before you set up the bath. During that time, focus on cleansing and rejuvenation techniques and spells. Meditation is also a good choice during the shower portion. Then ready the bath right after that.
The purpose of taking a bath like this is to not only give yourself some primping and care, but also to wash away all the old gunk that might be attached to you. The bath gives you a chance to bring up a little luxury, glamour, and more positive aspects of yourself that you’ve forgotten. You might not ever remember or need to wear your jasmine perfume but you can bath in jasmine scented soap and get the same effect, even if all you do is crawl into a pair of sweats afterward and binge watch Netflix.
02 Keep some of your hair
People have a thing about hair. Some people find it really gross. Others find it extremely attractive. And some folks don’t care either way. Only some hair is considered socially unacceptable on certain bodies and some hair is considered unacceptable at all times, even though it naturally grows?
It’s kind of weird to me since our hair is typically some of the cleanest parts of the body because we often use very harsh chemicals on it. (Plus, so long as you have access to a good diet and water, your hair often maintain itself in non-extreme temperatures without any chemical cleaning agents at all.) The hair on your head is probably cleaner than your hands, for example. It’s weird.
Hair, however, is an incredibly traditional ingredient in magic, especially love magic. Next time to get a haircut or trim, keep some of your hair if you can. Wrap it in a red cloth and put the whole bundle in a box. Keep the box somewhere safe where no one else may run across it but it’s still close and accessible (under the bed or in a bedside table is a good place)
Before you tuck that box away though, put in some love-drawing ingredients. It may be rose quartz or dried rose petals. (Some coins wouldn’t go amiss either, I’m sure.) The idea is that the box holds a part of you. It’s you, so treat it carefully and with love. Add items to the box that you want to bring into your life and keep it safe.
03 Tell the birds
Do you live near trees or often see birds nearby? Tell the birds what you’re looking for when it comes to love.
This can definitely be something that makes the neighbors think you’re an odd duck, but it’s definitely something that will work. Tell the birds, who are often chatterboxes and knowledgeable in folklore, about what you’re looking for. Afterwards, look for that same bird species as a sign or omen of potential love.
04 Tell the wind
Telling the birds might give you omens and signs of when potential lovers are nearby, but telling the wind can bring you even more peculiar things.
On a windy day, go outside and whisper the kind of love you’re looking for. Be specific as you’d like. Tell the wind how you’d like to spend a windy day with the love you’d like to have. For example, if you want a platonic cuddle buddy, then describe how on a windy day you’d curl up together and watch Practical Magic and eat brownies.
The thing with telling the wind what you’re looking for versus the birds is that birds only bring local and potential love. The wind may bring you a best friend that lives across the world that you’ll only ever get to have video chats with.
05 Pick your love song
Have you ever heard a song that’s just exactly the kind of love you want to experience? Or maybe it’s a song used during a scene where the characters share the exact kind of love or relationship you want to have. It might be a song classic or it could be something a Disney song. It could be instrumental or it might be from a musical. Whatever your song is, you probably have on in mind.
Use that! Pick your song and play it whenever you feel lonely. Make a whole playlist if you want. Play the song or songs before you head on when you’re feeling up to meeting new people or want to find love.
Love songs are often used for just couples. Pick a song that represents the love you want to feel and use that like a blanket of comfort and warmth. This is officially permission to listen to cheesy love songs just because you like them.
Can’t think of a song? You can write one or use a poem which you stick to music.
06 Grow a Plant
Flowers are often gifted as presents during this season but buying yourself a plant and reading up on how to love and care for it is pretty amazing. It’s saying, “I want you to live and be happy so I can live and be happy.”
The more you care for a plant, the more it cares for you. Tell your plant what you want from a lover (or your life in general) and care for the plant as best you can.
It can be any kind of plant you want, from a big leafy palm to a delicate orchid. It’s up to you. Pick something that you find interesting or pretty and just pick one. Focus on learning everything you can to take care of that plant.
As it grows, it should allow you to share some of the love bottled up inside of you. Sometimes we have too much love in our bodies for the amount of love we are allowed to share. This is an excellent way of sharing that love without getting weird looks.
07 Carry your tears and heartache
This one is tricky but it’s really good for when you’ve been hurt a lot by love and want someone who understands.
Get a small bottle or locket that you can carry with you. Whenever you cry or feel terrible because you’re lonely or want love, hold the bottle or locket, open it up, and let your tears fall onto it. Tell your hurts to the charm, pouring your heart out. Be as honest as you’d like to be. Cry over your ex. Complain about how you can never find someone who wants what you want. Express yourself.
Just be sure to tell the bottle or locket not just how sad and cruel the world is, but also what you want to feel when it comes to love. Add in some self-love for yourself too. Go ahead and flatter yourself. Tell all those things to this object and carry it with you everyone. You’ve poured out your heart and soul to this thing and and it will look for someone who will mimics what you want in life.
This doesn’t have to be a bottle or locket but it could be a necklace, pair of earrings, a handbag, a journal, etc. It should be something you can hold.
There’s lots of other things you can do. The thing is to think about what you want to be feeling and experiencing. If you want someone to come over and hang out, cuddle and play video games, then look for that. Adapt spells for that. Love doesn’t just have to be about sex or romance. It can be a lot of things. Allow yourself to feel love, in whatever form you need.