I wrote the following post a while back and never published it. Since I was recently asked about godphones so I’m posting it here so I can link it then I’m heading off the internet for my Silence Festival until Monday. Warning for cuss words which are abundant.
Godphones came up across my tumblr dash. I caught it this morning so I wasn’t there to see what originally sparked all the asks and posts. And, like every time someone says godphone, I cringe and rage.
Because the current usage of the word “godphone”, in my opinion, is wrong. Or, rather, it feels wrong.
The current usage is the manner in which a person can speak to a god and the god can speak to them.
And, frankly, that doesn’t make fucking sense. Why do we need a special word for shit that has been done since humans existed? Because I’m pretty fucking sure we call that a priest. There’s a whole fucking FIELD of professions for that. Congratulations. You defined part of the purpose of clergy.
Want to know what the word should be used for? A person who can talk to their god and their god to them as if picking up a telephone. Now, that isn’t exactly what it was originally used for. If I recall correctly, the term was created on an old witchraft(?) forum and was meant to be used as someone who has such a deep connection that it was like they had a phone connection. I’m getting this all third hand so whether this is true or not, I don’t know. Maybe all my rage is misdirected but the word itself is easily misconstrued. When someone who doesn’t know the origins or the actual extent of the current usage heard that word they’re likely going to think of it as I’ve described above: A person who can talk to their god and their god to them as if picking up a telephone. And that’s misleading. It seems so weird to me that we need to make up another new word for a whole HOST of words about this thing that we already have.
It really should be that easy. And, I’m going to piss off all sorts of people by saying the following: Being able to speak to a god and they speak to you as if on a phone is not a skill that can be learned. Just like how you can’t learn to be godbothered, you can’t learn to be a godphone. Can you “focus” it – I believe you could, can, and do. Like I believe you can practice and hone your psychic abilities. HOWEVER, just because you can practice your skills there’s a definable limit. Talent has it’s limits. But this whole “oh, just practice your godphone” business makes me so fucking angry. Because, fucking logically, it can’t exist. I’ll get into this later but not everyone’s a godphone. Godphones is just something someone fucking is. I truly believe it’s a skill you must be born with, not learned. You’re just fucking tuned into the right damn signal tower to be able to speak to a god. Good for you. It must kind of suck.
Why does it suck? Because you can’t turn it off. They’re always there, just a “phone call” away. And it’s back and forth. None of this one sided bullshit I’m seeing. If you are a godphone you should be able to talk to your god AT ALL TIMES. And they, in turn, should be able to talk to you. These are gods. They are not your fucking family or friends. You can consider them that, sure, but they’re fucking gods. And since some of you are just like “yeah, I know, you just said, so WTF?”, you need to go back to mythology 101. In the Greek (and maybe the Romans? I’m not so familiar with the difference in specific myths. Feel free to correct me) no mortal can look upon the gods without being driven mad or killed due to their glory. (I’m certain I’m paraphrasing). Think the fuck about that. They. Are. Gods. Stop being so damn irreverent.
I doubt it when people say they’re godphones. I really fucking do. Because it’s not a fucking voice in your head. Well, it might be, but it’s not going to be that fucking common. Do you really think the gods have the fucking desire, need, or time to be constantly commenting on your shit? I mean, your shit is your shit and UPG and UPE is a totes thing so I can’t validate you but all this claiming to talk to gods and spirits make me question what the fuck is going on here. Because it’s a total phase thing and the current definition allows for anyone to claim it.
(Oh, BTW, you can also be a spirit’s “godphone”. Actually, I’m fairly fucking sure it’s going to be a HELL of a lot more common than talking to an actual deity.)
And guess fucking what, NOT EVERYONE CAN DO IT. You’re going to find most people aren’t wired for that shit. If you think you’re experiencing a god talking to you STOP AND DOUBT YOURSELF. Yes I fucking just said that. Doubt yourself. You should be double and triple checking everything said.
“Shut the fuck up Crown, you don’t know what you’re talking about.” Uh, fuck you, yes I do. I experience gods. I’ve experienced them. I’m godbothered (and don’t make me get into that shit). I’ve been a medium. I’ve been a fucking oracle, channeling messages of the gods through my own fucking body. I’ve literally spoken to gods and the god’s personality and reactions were validated by others (the experience, of course, couldn’t be validated.) It’s part of the reason I stay the fuck away from religion. I know what gods can be like and I turned away. So fuck you, I actually do know what I’m talking about.
But just because I can talk to a god through oracles or be possessed by a god and hear them in my head or have them send messages to me, does not make me a godphone. It makes me an oracle: a person who can channel a message from a god or become a vessel through which a message from a god can be spoken through.
Now oracles…. That shit can be learned. That’s a matter of dumping your ass into the right trance and offering yourself up to hear the deities speak. It’s a trainable skill. It is historically a trainable skill. Delphi anyone? (Some folks use the word godmouth instead of oracle? I might be wrong with that.)
So let’s do a check here:
- If you can hear a god speak or have them speak through you but you can’t talk back like having a conversation – you’re an oracle. Now please go research what that means. Not a godphone.
- If you talk at god but they never talk back – you’re like everyone fucking else. It’s called prayer. Good job. Not a godphone.
- If you can *kinda* *sometimes* have a back and forth signs with a god – Slippery, maybe some slight godphone-age but you should be fucking checking that shit out. You should be wanting to look at messages your god has previously offered in mythology and to other worshipers to validate. Maybe a godphone, most likely an oracle.
- If you can literally be “yo X deity, what’s up?” and they respond and you can respond to that? You’re a godphone. Make fucking sure you validate your claims as much as you can through research.
“But Crown~! How do I talk to the gods then?” By worship. By looking for signs from them. By practicing divination and/or oracle skills. By using the services of an oracle. I know several people in all different faiths that have deep, intense, intimate, personal, and emotional connections to their gods and NONE of them are godphones. NONE of them are oracles. Part of having a faith is knowing your deity exists, even without evidence of it.
“But that’s so hard!” It shouldn’t be fucking easy. This is your religion. Who the fuck told you religion’s going to be fucking easy?
“You’re wrong.” Maybe I fucking am. But logically the word is not right. Logically, the structure of the word says that it should be a back and forth conversation and part of my foundation UPG (which is heavily based in logic) is that it isn’t that common. Because if deities really were all going to talk to us all the time back and forth, then why aren’t we hearing more about it? Why isn’t there science being done on this shit? Why is it only this random group of folks on tumblr experiencing this? Why isn’t it a world-wide phenomena noted outside of the pagan sphere? (And if you immediately thought “well, obviously because pagans are better or the Christian god doesn’t exist.” Fuck you. Shit down and shut up.) Why isn’t there THOUSANDS of years of evidence of this exact thing? Of course there’s special cases. Joan of Arc, for example, now I believe that woman was not only an oracle but a godphone. I can’t prove it, obviously, but I believe she was. You think your shit is so hot that suddenly the gods decided “NOW IS THE TIME! LET US TALK TO X ALL THE TIME! I WANT TO KNOW HOW THEY BUILT THEIR SIMS HOUSE!” No, I don’t think so. I think that, logically, it would be heavily documented for AT LEAST the last few hundred years. This isn’t a new fucking concept. But those folks that do godphones were probably more likely to be ostracized than not, even by their own community. Again, you can’t validate your shit. You can try, but you can’t. Logically speaking, if godphoning is so common that EVERYONE can do it, why didn’t those scientists, researchers, philosophers, theologians, scholars, writers, and occultists write about it for the last hundred or so years? You know the ones. The one who wrote many of the foundation texts we use? The Golden Dawn, Crowley, Agrippa, Plato, Augustine, and, well, shit, anyone? You think NONE of these people were special or talented enough to be a godphone? I can’t know the gods’ wills but I seriously doubt that. And sure, maybe they didn’t write about it for fear of being crazy, but these were educate people. You think someone didn’t contact them at some point and say “I can talk to X god and they can talk back?” Please. Spare me.
“Fuck you Crown. I’m going to do what I want.” Fine. Go for it. I’m not going to stop you. I don’t fucking care how you identify. I don’t care that you’re pissed I don’t doubt you. I. Don’t. Care. Your shit is your shit. It’s all UPG and UPE anyway. I’m just one person on the internet. I could be wrong. I don’t think I am, but I could be wrong. You do whatever the fuck you want. I can’t and won’t stop you.